A Story About Style
I See You
I grew up in a large family, larger than 6 and 8. 6 when only counting my siblings, 8 when adding on my parents, and larger than 6 and 8 when adding all of our other cousins who lived with us in our grandparents’ house. Maybe this is why our father always called 3 names before calling mine or Rachel. Rachel and I made a rule: whoever he called last had to accept the summons of endless chores. Though our visitors stressed how difficult it was to remember everyone, when they returned for a second visit, they remembered my oldest sister by her name, Lydie, my brother Jonathan because he was the only boy, and my sister Prisca for her overpowering abilities that allowed her to raise Rachel and me when she was only 16 in the frequent absence of our parents. My third sister Evodie was remembered as the talkative and intriguing one and my little sister Rachel was the youngest. I was often the strange addition to the picture after they met us for the second time. These occurrences were probably not a problem at first, but their frequency painted a new picture of my family. There were only 7 clear figures, with mine being the only one that was faint and mute. To prove my presence and discredit my invisibility, I decided to work toward creating my own Cinderella moment.
My definition of a Cinderella Moment is when a female protagonist of an American coming of age movie or Nollywood film presents herself to the public after a makeover. This reveal may take place at a ball, party, or in the iconic slow-motion strut in front of a bewildered audience. In the slow-mo strut, our protagonist usually sports a stylish look. She is often seen wearing a mini skirt, a trendier top, and a heel in American movies.
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In the Nollywood movies, she is spotted in more flattering bell-bottom jeans, a cropped blouse, and heeled shoes.
These scenes typically showcase a style very different from what we see at the beginning of the movie: regular jeans, a gray shirt, and gray sneakers/ slippers. The Cinderella moment is significant because it asserts her newfound visibility, power, and relevance- it was everything I needed.
Both outfits were inspired by the Clueless Queen herself Dione!!
Probably 11th grade
year?
As I was in Zimbabwe, I searched for my Cinderella moment in the clothes I wore to church on Sundays. These were the only days I could dress up after a week of wearing a uniform. When I moved to the U.S. in 9th grade, I felt unbearable loneliness for the first time, which led me to change my strategy. My classes and their friends shined with the shining light of relevance, so I decided to draw inspiration from their style. As soon as I chose a target, I scoured thrift stores and piles of donated clothes searching for a waterfall cardigan she wore all the time.
(“New Womens Merona Chenille Waterfall Cardigan Sweater Shawl Collar Black XS”)
I wanted to shorten the distance between my classmates and me that was elongated by fear of rejection due to differences in background and accents. Except, the more I wore the cardigan and the more nothing changed, the more I grew aware of how much I disliked the cardigan. In my 10th grade, just having transferred schools, I became more desperate and took what I considered drastic measures. I traded my comfort zone for tighter and shorter dresses.
Looking back, these dresses were not as scandalous as I imagined, plus I love that I tried out new styles. I only regret my intentions because I wanted to wear anything to gain attention. I wanted to wear anything that would secure my special someone, like the female protagonists after their wonderful makeover. In the middle of this estranging crisis, I received an unlikely gift wrapped in a familiar color of doom. We had moved once again. My new school uniforms freed me from the obsessive attempts at the outfit that would finally unlock my Cinderella moment. With that, I only had Sundays to dress as I wanted once again. As I would now have to be in the presence of my faith and my father, I had to especially abide by my family's oversized/non-form-fitting clothing norms. Through the help of Pinterest and Kdramas, my little sister and I started to enjoy fairy godmother’s work. We turned old dresses into tops for a few hours, fixed pants with belts and tricks, and put sweaters and shirts under and over dresses to achieve various outfits.
The stripped top? That's actually a dress tucked all the way in....
Used a couple of pins to pin the skirt to the shirt because the waist was too large ;)
The beige shirt under the orange sleeveless is actually a part of a scrub uniform I used to wear when I was training to become a Certified Nurse Assistant:))
We also adopted blazers and shirts- the kind that our father loved- the bigger ones.
This blazer used to belong to my father
Rachel thrifted this blazer
I thrifted this one from Salvation Army
With the pressure of constantly trying to stun and attract now lifted, I was able to learn to love the mirror and acknowledge my presence as I stared at what I looked like when I wore an outfit I loved. These moments each Saturday night helped me feel grateful to mirrors because every time I felt invisible, they would look back and reassure my presence. As I searched for my Cinderella moment, I used mirrors and style. Yet, at some point, they also helped me look up at my reflection telling me like never before: "I see you."
I present my favorite outfit of the year
